A Funeral Botch Job

By: Josh Embry

Maureen Witherspoon, 85

Ms. Witherspoon passed away on Tuesday with her spoon in hand, after choking on a rotten batch of lobster bisque. That’s not the sole reason I am writing this little blurb though. No, Ms. Witherspoon was just an old kook who was infatuated with some spoon.

Ms. Witherspoon claimed said spoon was used at a Toledo-based honky-tonk by vocalist Evvy Pedder, the lead singer of the notorious Toledo nu-metal band, Lollipop Lust Kill, back in 2004. In actuality, I wanted to write this to talk about the botch-job…